I look at the years that has come and gone by.. I realize that all the things I enjoy now.. I didn’t like much at the beginning.. .. All the things I cherish the most .. are the things that came along when I was expecting a different outcome.
During the school years I met people, got to know them , called them my best friend, and/or the other friends. We all grew up, some went to university, started working, some got married, some got divorced, and some just lost contact…. !! Friends you thought were the best friends (only a few) moved on and forgot to look back at all the memories that we shared. But the “other friends”, the ones that were always around, sharing when they can, who didn’t seem as if they cared much… did care.. !! Only it took me a while to realize… !!
Now looking back… I cringe a bit and sigh again.. and think ..”what a missed opportunity… !! ”
I should have .. could have and would have …. known what I know now.. ..”that time goes by and some times the little things that didn’t mean much.. is waiting for a bit of your attention, a bit of your consideration.. and a chance that could have shown a different side of things…”
I think I still do it.. now in a different sense.. While school years are pushing back into the ancient history days of my life.. I still wonder how it could have been .. if only I talked more, laughed more and shared more with no restrictions…
Again like I said, now its a bit different than the earlier days… Now I see it… I recognize and I figure out what needs to be done.. to turn just a mere chance into a cherished opportunity..
At work now… while working as a temp employee and while realizing the things I can do to guarantee a permanent position… I say to myself …”I will do it……!!…. ………………………………………………………….. .. the first thing tomorrow morning.. !! ”
A voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me… “you are doing it again.. !!! “… yet I leave it to the next morning.. the next day comes and I still have the next next morning to do the things that can make a difference. … !!!
Even while I’m writing this.. I think I should get to it.. right before I start anything on Monday morning.. !! which I know ,most likely will not happen.. maybe.. !!
I know why I don’t do it.. but its hard to admit.. and I’m afraid .. one day .. when there is not enough time left to try out these things and make up for all the lost chances… I’m going to realize ” ohhh how I knowingly overlooked the things that could have made the difference… !! “