Pain comes and goes..!! But does it really ?? or do we just learn to work around it..?? Pain is worry..worry is pain.. worrying about something its the reason for pain…!!
Worry is within us all.. in the happiest and the saddest moments of life.. you worry that the good time is coming to an end.. or you worry about the sadness that never seems to end.. no matter what plans you have in life … worry and pain is bound to follow you through. Just like our shadows that we take every where we go..! sometimes its faint but sometimes its right on your face… but at the end of the day it stays in its own way.. !!
so how can you conquer this matter in life.. how do you put an end to this pain.. pain is pain .. and worry is worry.. so why worry about worry .. for it always will be .. you can ignore it.. you can try to solve it.. u can embrace it.. either way it remains.. unchanged..!!
Anyway …that’s life..! what do you do when you realize it..? you just let it be..? move on ..? keep going.. ? and feel it sometimes.. ? but let it go for the moment ..? take a breath..?? accept it and leave it.. ??
.. u cannot get rid of it.. ??? u cannot fix it..??? its there if you want to embrace it.. ??
but would you..?
As the year goes by……….
The sunless winters brings out the worst of your moods.. as months pass and spring arrives through the cold breeze.. so does the mood it peeks out through the gloominess.. the sunny summers continue to improve… while around fall things get transitional.. good but bad.. clear but blurry.. past months of the year and the future months of next year to come.. regrets and some achievements.. cold but warm weather.. confusion of lost chances or gained experiences.. then its time for the new years to starts.. through the darkness you hope.. hope for the summery warmth yet to come..!! Life goes on like wheel that turns continuously..
Right now.. as April arrives.. I see glimpse of hope.. budding through the darkness … I hope for a warm heart felt summer.. full of memories.. created and missed towards the end of the year.. I’m feeling hopeful..!!
Have you ever wondered.. what’s that feeling..?? This feeling I can’t put into words.. but was nicely said by A. A. Miline.. See for yourself..? I think its anticipation.. What do you think..??
Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called. ~A.A. Milne
Anticipation..?!? or what do u think..???
It was one of those days .. After work I was really tired and my knee was killing me… Everything seemed a bit irritating and I was getting impatient.. the fact that I was stuck in a doctor’s clinic waiting room did anything but improve my mood. I tried reading the boring pamphlets but the long paragraphs felt like blobs of blahh….. As minutes turned to an hour I was starting to lose it.. I didn’t hear the usual voice in the back of my head telling me to calm down..!!
So… I got up and walked towards the receptionist…. just wanting to vent it out.. Then bam…..!!! This was up on the wall by the reception….. So I smiled at her instead…and said “looks like it’s a busy day ” !! She smiled back and said “you are the next one in line” 🙂
I’m glad I didn’t say anything.. It turned out not so bad after all..!!
Some times all you need is that one word or the friendly smile to get a break from your usual day today struggles..This did it for me (so yeah I did take a photo when the receptionist wasn’t looking :P).. Hope it will help someone else too.. !! Sometimes doing less does more than it seems.
So after my first few posts.. I kind of got into this blogging thing.. I like how it puts together what goes on in my head… so I can refer to it later..
Anyway.. I really wanted to write about something I LIKE.. nothing came to my mind ..
but just a while back … as I was going through pictures of one of my facebook buddies…. I was slammed with a sudden feeling of nostalgia.. I said to myself “what the hell am I doing here..!?!?!?.. I should be there.. ”
She was standing in the beach.. a cool/warm breeze blew her hair in such an effortless way… she has got tanned from the constant sun ..and looked really happy.. her eyes were smiling .. like to say I’m exactly where I should be !!!..the coconut trees added a perfect bit of greenery on the side…
While all this was going on I was stuck in a cubical at work.. didn’t know if it was snow or freezing rain outside.. (there are no windows close to wear my cubical is… ).. of course the cold and the winter darkness are highly expected..In my mind I was thinking “what the hell am I doing here.. !?!?!?”
So I miss the sunshine.. the cool breeze sweeping across the ocean… wearing light summary clothes…
Believe it or not.. as I was growing up in this beautiful island country of mine..before I moved to where I am now.. . I used to think “this damn sun … the salty tasting thick wind of the ocean.. the humidity.. and the traffic and all that… ” ….. And all that …is a bit out of a lot .. that I have taken for GRANTED.. !!
When I was a kid …every weekend or most free time we had.. going to the beach and playing in the sand and walking the waves.. and making sand castles … and counting ships that came to the shore as the sun sets in the background.. were some of our popular games.. …
I got bored.. all my friends got bored..everyone got busy with other things.. school… exams.. life.. we forgot all about the beach and the games we used to play… 10 years later.. I feel miserable thinking about it now.. I should have known better… !!! I should have spent more time at the beach.. listening to the sound of the waves and the traffic…!! Now beach is a luxury I can’t afford..
All I have now.. are the sea shells we collected from many trips to the beach …. which I held on to .. after all these years.. 🙂 I’m glad I did …. ….
When you think about it.. everyone LIKES to eat good food, explore different countries, watch a good movie or listen to a good song… but what makes YOU stand out from the rest US are those small things you enjoy even without knowing you enjoy the presence of it.. the kind you only realize when you see it gone..
As a kid I grew up in a busy town.. I remember the commute to school in the morning traffic.. I used to hate it.. but now I miss it.. now I live in a place with less traffic.. driving to work is smooth with only minor traffic… Well you must think I’m crazy to miss the traffic.. but read on.. maybe you’ll see why..
Those days on the way to school.. (then to work for a short while) in a crammed up bus.. frustrated at the traffic and annoyed at the people who set up morning classes.. I still enjoyed the silent conversations I had with people on the bus.. all had a different story to tell in the way they wore .. the way they talked and the ways they acted to a similar incident..
You see the same people on the bus.. every morning.. when someone who usually shows up at a certain bus stop doesn’t show up that day .. you wonder if they got up late.. or not working today.. or maybe even took the early bus to work.. and you feel relieved on behalf of them, when they run and catch the bus at the last minute sometimes… These were *the regulars*
I have never been a morning person.. so talking to people in the morning is the last thing I would want to do ..
but I knew quite a bit about *the regulars*…the bits and pieces I put together over the l.5 hour long bus ride I used to do every morning ..for years.. until I finally saved up to buy my own car.. .
- The buddy ( she gets on the bus two stops after me.. and gets off at the same bus stop and take the same connected bus ..I never knew where she got off … cz I used to get off before her.. she works in the high tech industry.. the fashion sense said it all .. even before I heard her talking to the dentist about it once.. but she was friendly always smiled… on some sleepy mornings that I completely lose track of time.. having her on the busy meant I didn’t miss the next stop.. or the next bus.. and I’m on the right bus..the perfect buddy system)
- The dentist.. (she can never stop smiling.. and for an avid coffee drinker she had nice teeth… although I never knew if she was a real dentist.. I thought she has to be one to maintain that kind of teeth *for her age… then one day I heard her tell the buddy that she is a dental hygienist.. not a bad guess… !! after all .. but of course..I kept calling her the dentist)
- The pretty boy.. (good looking when u see from far.. average when close by.. probably into sports.. he graduated recently and works for the gov. …. the shirts were carefully ironed and probably put together the day before … obviously too pretty for a gov. job..)
- The schooler.. (only met him after I started working.. schooler was exactly me few months back.. went to the same university as me.. the same bus route.. I was relieved I was not on the same boat as him anymore.. I dont miss the morning classes at all.. !!)
- The know it all… (OMG.. !! don’t want him sitting anywhere close by.. he knows it all.. annoying as hell.. but from what I figured.. he used to have an important job in the gov. mostly into the financial side.. now retired.. probably a widower.. now working at a small company… as a consultant… he was an expert at everything.. damn he talks too much.. )
The list goes on.. so I miss these people.. often on the way to work now.. I check the bus stops every once in a while to spot some of *the regulars*… and I wonder what was I for those people.. and how they would name me..
PS: I would love to know what my blog readers think about this post.. your comments are greatly appreciated.. 🙂