I was absent for a while…!! So the big move happened ..things took a different turn.. !! Usually even the thought of such a big change cripples me inside..but this time I knew I needed it. I needed a break.. I needed a new start… ! I just didn’t know what would be a good place to start…!! All I did was just wait..and it worked out for me this time..!! 🙂
Things changed..!! I was lost for a while.. I wasn’t sure what I should do next.. so I waited for a sign..! I have a habit of picking my own signs.. and naming an outcome that comes along with the sign..!! I wanted something magical ..something that said all is fine..and things are working out and all I had to do was just give it some time.. !!
Just a silly thought came to my mind and I knew the sign had to be locked down as nothing less than a magical “Rainbow”. I would drive to work and go for a walk.. my eyes would always wander around the sky.. !! Days turned to weeks and weeks tuned to months.. there was no sign of a Rainbow in sight. I blamed myself for being so naive and for being so silly as to look for rainbows in the sky.. !! I told myself.. this is real life.. rocks aren’t made of candy and clouds aren’t cotton fluff… so what the hell I’m doing searching for a rainbow in the sky.
By this time I had found a carpool and on the way home I was half way falling asleep. I remember it was a sunny summer day but the light drizzle made it chilly.. just enough to put anyone to sleep..The first guy got dropped off and the sudden change of rhythm woke me up for good this time.. !! The other guy in the car was saying something .. “check out the sky .. I got to take a pic to show my kids”… My sleepy eyes turned to the sky not knowing what was that all about.. !!
Only to see the “SIGN” the “RAINBOW” in the sky. a rainbow so broad covering half the sky.. nothing like anything I have seen before.. I was speechless and just knew things are fine..!! I turned around and watched until it was no where to be seen.. then settled back in the seat filled with hope and a smile on my face… The sun seeping through the light mist settling in.. made it feel like I am living in a fairy tale.. I looked up again and there it was .. so bright and colorful .. there was Rainbow #2…!! I wanted to cry I wanted to laugh.. I wanted to hold that moment for ever to be saved. So ladies and gentlemen there was the sign..!!
But just a reminder …like I said..the sign was meant to bring me an outcome.. I was hoping for a dramatic change.. I thought would go home and welcomed by the answer to my pain..!! It wasn’t that simple.. but I am still hopeful and I am feeling free as I can ever be..!! I am still waiting for all the answers and I just know its just around the corner.. !! Things will work out.. for everyone wants happiness no one wants pain..But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain..!! 😀
As the year goes by……….
The sunless winters brings out the worst of your moods.. as months pass and spring arrives through the cold breeze.. so does the mood it peeks out through the gloominess.. the sunny summers continue to improve… while around fall things get transitional.. good but bad.. clear but blurry.. past months of the year and the future months of next year to come.. regrets and some achievements.. cold but warm weather.. confusion of lost chances or gained experiences.. then its time for the new years to starts.. through the darkness you hope.. hope for the summery warmth yet to come..!! Life goes on like wheel that turns continuously..
Right now.. as April arrives.. I see glimpse of hope.. budding through the darkness … I hope for a warm heart felt summer.. full of memories.. created and missed towards the end of the year.. I’m feeling hopeful..!!
It was one of those days .. After work I was really tired and my knee was killing me… Everything seemed a bit irritating and I was getting impatient.. the fact that I was stuck in a doctor’s clinic waiting room did anything but improve my mood. I tried reading the boring pamphlets but the long paragraphs felt like blobs of blahh….. As minutes turned to an hour I was starting to lose it.. I didn’t hear the usual voice in the back of my head telling me to calm down..!!
So… I got up and walked towards the receptionist…. just wanting to vent it out.. Then bam…..!!! This was up on the wall by the reception….. So I smiled at her instead…and said “looks like it’s a busy day ” !! She smiled back and said “you are the next one in line” 🙂
I’m glad I didn’t say anything.. It turned out not so bad after all..!!
Some times all you need is that one word or the friendly smile to get a break from your usual day today struggles..This did it for me (so yeah I did take a photo when the receptionist wasn’t looking :P).. Hope it will help someone else too.. !! Sometimes doing less does more than it seems.
A wise lady once told me.. ” if you want to write something good you start with an empty page..” So here I am with an empty blog screen.. waiting for something to come to me..
While I’m waiting my mind wanders.. and suddenly I’m thinking “I wonder what will others think.. if they saw me staring at this page.. waiting.. !?”
I wonder if they think I’m stupid.. if they think I’m just wasting my time.. or I should go do something else .. But I really want to write.. !!
Now I’m debating in my head.. should I write or should I not.. because what will others say.. !?!
Does it really matter what they say or should I just stick to what I want. Am I making the right decision or just wasting my time.. ??
So what if they thought I am a loser.. does that really make me one..?
So what if others say I’m not good enough.. do I stop wanting to write.. ?
What makes me good enough ? is it the labels that others put on me or is it what I really feel inside.. ?
I know what makes me feel good I know I should write.. but what if no one likes what I write.. should I really care about that..?
Today is one of those Mondays.. I’m waiting for updates on my work ..and boredom is a slow death.. !! So I decided to scribble something on a piece of paper .. what do you think..??
When I moved to a new country 10 years ago .. things were challenging .. now looking back.. I only remember the good times.. But I swear things were difficult: adjusting to an all new weather, school and even finding new friends.. but somehow time solved it all.. !! Every once in a while, life reminds us of the healing power of time..!! Although we know that, we often tend to forget.. but soon we learn again when we are hit with a new challenge in our lives.. !! This my friends ..is one of those lessons..!!
Well just like anything else in life.. Time too needs a little push sometimes.. or maybe you can call it a helping hand.. time works with you if you work towards your goals and walk towards the light.. so although you let go of the unwanted burdens and leave it on the shoulders of time.. you keep at it..you keep pushing through the hard times just as much you voluntarily do during the good times !!
Then finally after 10 years from now you can look back and you will say to yourself… “When things got difficult I did freak out.. I did question when will this end…..but I kept working towards what was important in life.. although it felt like a never ending roller coaster .. I did it.. !! and all it took was time..!! backed up with hard work.. !!”.
So again like I said.. why don’t we all take a deep breath..and leave the burdens for a later time.. and take this moment to celebrate all the good things that got you to where you are now.. and pledge to support time when its working hard to get us to where we want to go..!! Lets own this moment out the spectrum of time..and live in that … and only that.. while past and future are all wonders of time.. that was once lived and yet to experience. … !! Lets celebrate “this” moment of time..!!
Do you have any day today things that you dread so much.. ? I would like to come up with a weird list of day today worries.. that people have.. Just to see what people come up with..
SO here goes.. comment away.. lets see what we come up with.. ! 😛
So lately I’ve been absorbed into the Hunger Games book series..and I can’t get myself to stop reading at night before I fall asleep. But I really dread the buzz of my alarm everyday in the morning.. Of course I let it snooze 3 times.. before I actually drag myself off the bed..
But every morning.. its a struggle.. I debate in my head .. if this is all worth it.. getting up.. controlling your sleep hours to get to work on time.. if all is done to be happy why drag yourself out of a cozy comfy bed..into the freezing cold, busy traffic, and then finally to a 8 hrs long work day.. !! All this happens in just few seconds.. and then reality hits..!! Final snooze goes off and …
Before I know it I’m off my bed.. and all dressed.. and all ready to go..!!